The Doll (A Pupa)

     There once was a girl who was very poor but wanted desperately to have a doll of her own to love and play with.

     Everyday she would ask her mother,  “Oh please, please can I have a doll to play with.”
     And everyday her mother would say,“ No we are too poor; we don’t have any money to buy a doll.”  And so the girl would cry herself to sleep every night, praying for a doll.

     One day while the girl’s mother was working out in the field harvesting the wheat with her scythe, she found hidden there in the wheat a tiny little straw doll sitting up straight in a little red dress. Not believing her luck, she thought perhaps someone had lost it and asked around to see if it belonged to anyone. No one claimed it, so the mother took the doll home to her daughter.

     The girl was so happy to finally have a doll to love and play with that she kept the doll near her every moment of the day.  They ate together, played together and even slept together. The girl was the happiest she had ever been.  The girl treated the doll like a little baby and the doll became like a little baby. The girl would feed her, burp her and take her to the toilet.

     One night after the little girl had fed her doll, she was lying in bed and realized that the doll hadn’t been to the toilet, so she got up and discovered that the doll was really bursting to go to the toilet. 
     The girl called out to her mother,  “Mamma, mamma my baby doll needs to go to the toilet.”
     The mother half asleep and a little annoyed at being awoken by the girl during the night said,  “Well just let her go where she is, and don’t bother me.”
     The girl quickly pulled down the dolls underpants there in her bed and said to the doll,
“You can go to the toilet here.”  The doll promptly shat on the bed.

     But instead of shitting normally she shat out gold pieces out onto the bed. The doll had diarrhoea and began to fill up the girl’s bed with lots of gold coins. When the doll had cleaned itself out, the girl wiped its bottom and called her mother.

     The mother, shocked and surprised to see the girl’s bed full of gold coins, demanded an explanation. The girl told her all that had happened. The mother believed her daughter and understood that the doll was magical and was happy to have all of these gold coins to save them from their poverty.

     The gold coins were so numerous that they couldn’t be counted, so the next day the mother sent her daughter to her aunt’s house to ask for the scale that they used to weigh the wheat at the mill, to see how much gold there was. The girl’s Aunty was curious as to why they needed the scale. What did they need to weigh? She followed the girl back home to spy on them.

     The girl returned together with her mother and began to weigh the gold coins in the girl’s bed. The Aunty, hiding outside, peeked through the girl’s bedroom window and was filled with envy and disbelief. She pushed open the door and ran into the bedroom in time to see all the gold laid out on the bed. The Aunt yelled and cursed the mother and the girl, accusing them of stealing the gold coins, and threatened to call the police.

     The girl insisted that they were innocent, but the Aunty persisted and pushed for an explanation. Finally, the girl confessed about the magical doll and told her Aunty everything. The Aunty, threatening to go to the police, took the doll for herself.

     That night the Aunty fed the doll, burped the doll and took the doll to bed, just like the little girl had done before. During the night the Aunty was awoken by the sounds of the little doll who needed to go to the toilet. So she sat up in bed, pulled down the doll’s panties and waited for the gold to be shat out. But this time the doll’s diarrhea was not gold but the real deal. The doll shat and shat and shat filling the Aunt’s bed with a mountain of disgusting shit. The Aunty disgusted and revolted grabbed the doll, ran out of her house and threw it as far away as possible and returned home to clean up the revolting mess.

     The doll landed behind some bushes near a busy main road. Early the next day, the prince of the kingdom passed by on that very road on his way to hunt in the forest. At the precise moment he passed the bushes where the doll was hidden and was possessed with a terrific urge to go to the toilet, so he got off his horse went behind the bushes and crouched directly above the dolls head to go to the toilet.

     At the exact moment he did this, the doll wedged herself between the cheeks of the prince and was stuck firmly in the rectum of the prince. The prince, obviously alarmed by this, called his guards who whisked him back to his castle as quickly as possible.

     At the castle the doctors were called but there was no way of getting rid of the doll stuck up the arse of the prince. In endless discomfort, the royal family was desperate to help their son and heir to the throne, calling for the help of all the people in the land to help save the prince.

     The girl hearing about the princes predicament was convinced that the doll was her little baby doll and ran as fast as she could to the prince’s castle.

     Arriving at the castle the poor royal family, totally distraught at the situation, they allowed her to enter to help the prince. Seeing and recognizing the doll’s legs sticking out of the princes cheeks, she yelled, “Oh little dolly, come out of there, I’m here, your mother is here!”

     At that moment the doll released her grip on the prince and popped directly out.

     The prince, immediately grateful, proclaimed that as a reward for her help, the girl will be his bride. Perhaps it was a natural solution since she had seen the royal buttocks. And so the prince and the girl lived happily ever after.
Rochelle Del Borrello

A Pupa

     N’à vota cera n’à figghiuledda chi era puviredda e vulia pifforza aviri n’à pupa tutta pi idda pi-putiri iucari commu savissi n’à carusedda.

     Ogni iornù ci dumandava a so mamma.  E idda ci dicia,  “Pi fauri, pi fauri pozzu aviri n’à pupa pi-iucari.”
     E so mamma ogni iornu rispunnia, “No non pozzu pirchì semu troppu poveri e nù avemo i sordi pà cattari mancu nà  pupa.”  E cosi a figghiuledda ciancia ogni notti e priava pi aviri nà pupa.

     Un-gniornu a mamma stava travagiannu ntà campagna a ricorgiri frenu cu la so fauci, e mentri travagghiava truvoi sutta l’erba na pupa di pagghia tutta vistuta di russu. Idda nu cridiu a tanta fortuna e pinzzo chi carcunnu l’avia perduta e si misi a dumannari a tutti. Ma nun truvannu a nudu sa purtò a casa e cia-desi a so figghia.

     A figghia fu tantu cuntenta chi avia sta pupa ca-tinia sempri cu idda tuttu iu-iornu, tantu chi manciavunu on’canto, iucavunu on’cantu e durmivunu on’cantu. A figghia era ciù contenta chi mai. A figghiola tinia a pupa commu n’à carusedda e finiu ca pupa divinto piddaveru na carusedda. A figghiola ci dava u manciari ci facia fari u ruttinu e a purtava o bagnu.

     Nà notti dopu ca fici manciari sa curcco cu idda e dopu si ricurdo chi a pupa nun avia iutu o bagnu e cossi si iarzzo e vidennu chi sta pupa si stavia facennu tuttu din coddu.
     Ciammo a so mamma, “Mamma, Mamma a me pupa avairi ntò bagnu.”
     A mamma menza durmisciuta e siddiata ci dissi, “Faccilla fari unni voli e lassami dormiri.”
     A figgliola allura ci calò i causeddi e ci dissi, “Vai ca.”  Cosi a pupa fici i so bisogni ntò lettu.

     A pupa inveci di iri piddaveru ntò bagnu, comincio a fari tanti sordi d’oru e tantu ni fici chi incchiu tutto u lettu, a figghiula miravigghiata di tutti sti sordi chiammo a mamma.

     A mamma miravighiata e supresa puru di tuttu du oru nto letto da figghia fuiu dà, e appena visti tutto du oru ci dumannò ma chi succidiu! E a figgliola ci cunto tuttu lu fattu. A mamma cridiu a tuttu chiddu chi ci cunto a fighia e capio cà pupa era magica e cuntenta d’aviri tutti di sordi d’oru pinzava chi nu eranu ciù poveredi.

     Sti sordi eranu tantu assai chi nun si putevunu cuntari, allura a mamma u iurnu dopu manno a fighia n’à zia pi si fari dari a cozza chi idda usava pi misorari u frummentu o mulino, cossi iddi putevenu vidiri quantu sordi avivunu. A zia curiosa di sapiri a chi ci sirvia a cozza e chi cosa avevunu a misurari, sinniiu dappresso a spiari.

     A figghiola turnoi a casa cà cozza e si misuro ca mamma a misurari i sordi ntò letto. A zia mucciata fora da lucirnaia da stanza du lettu visti tuttu d’ù oru, e di corpu divinto miravighiata e invidiosa, di corpu mutto a porta e di cursa iu versu u letto e vidennu tuttu du oru commu nà strega bramò disgraziati unni i rubastuù sti sordi d’oru, io vaiu ni carabinieri e vi fazzu taccari.

     A figghiola dicia nunavemu fattu nenti, ma a zia vulia sapiri tutticosi. All’urtimu a figghiola ci cuntò a zia tutti cosi da pupa magica. A zia continuava a diri chi si iddi nu ci davunu a pupa amenu pi na sira idda sinnia ni carabbineri, allura iddi ci desuna a pupa mi sa purtava cu idda pi sa curari ntò lettu.

     A notti a zia ci desi ammangiari a pupa, ci fici fari u ruttinu e a misi a durmiri nto lettu, precisu commu facia a niputi a notti prima. Ntà notte a zia fu ruspighiata da pupa purcchi avia iri nto bagno. Allura a zia si iarzzo nto menzu u lettu e ci calò i mutannedi  e spittava chi niscia l’oru. Ma sta vota a pupa iù ntò bagnu appidaveru. A pupa nun finia di fare ciù bisogni inchennu u letto di purcarì. A zia, schifiata, vistu chi cavia lurdatu tutticosi, scappu fora da casa piggiannu a pupa cu nu pedi e a fici satari ciù lontanu chi potti, facennula finiri ntò sipaluni suttasdrata e tornù a casa a puliziare di purcarì.

     A pupa finiu arreri a maccia allatu u stdraduni. Iu iornu appressu a matina prestu passo supra a stissa stdrada u figghiù du re chi ia a caccia ntò boscu. U figghiu du re mentri passa di dà ci scappo di iri ntò bagno, scinniu di cursa du cavaddu e sinni-iu arreri a macchia giustu giustu supra a pupa.

     Precisu nto minuto cu principi si calo i causi pi iri nto bagno a pupa si zicco ntò culo e ristoi stritta stritta ziccata. U principi scantato ciammo i guardie pu pur tari ciu prestu possibile o casteddu.

     Rivato o casteddu ci fici ciammari u dutturi, ma mancu u dutturi potia capiri commu libirari u principi da pupa chi era ziccata stritta stritta nto culu e nun cera versu pi niscirla. A famighia du principi dispirata e nun sapennu commu iutari u fighiu chi era puru primu genitu ed eredi o tronu dumannanu aiutu a tutti i genti du regnu.

     A figliola, sintennu diri  u problema cavia u principi e pinzo chi putia essiri a so pupa e cossi curriu o casteddu a circari u principi.

     Arrivata o casteddu truvoi a famiglia riali, compretamente disperata pà disgrazia successa o so poviru fighiu,  a ficiunu  trasiri subbitu nta stanza du principi pu putiri aiutari. Idda vidennu i pedi da so pupa fuori du culo du principi capiu subbitu chi era a so pupa e cossi ciammo a so pupa, “O pupa mia veni fori sugnu io to mamma, to mamma e cà!”

     E appena idda diciu sti paroli, a pupa subbitu nisciù du culu du principi.

     U principi liberatu di tutti di peni fu cossi priatu e cuntentu che annunciò che si pighiava a fighiola commu mughieri. Sapidu pirchì forsi avia vistu u culu du principi. E cossi u principi e a figliola camparunu filici e cuntenti.